Insights by Dr. Anthony Mazzella - Page 2 of 9

Understanding the Differences Between Borderline and Narcissistic Personality

People searching for ways to handle borderline or narcissistic personality behaviors in relationships are often looking for relief from emotional intensity, confusion, or repeated relational conflict. While borderline and narcissistic patterns are frequently compared—or even conflated—in everyday language, understanding how these two organizations differ internally is essential for making sense of relationship dynamics that can […]

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What Are the Signs That Your Parent May Be A Covert Narcissist?

Overview How covert narcissistic traits—hypersensitivity, manipulation, and hidden grandiosity—shape relationship dynamics Why a parent’s subtle victimhood and emotional fragility make their child feel responsible for their happiness How someone may internalize guilt, loyalty, and self-limiting beliefs to preserve the relationship How recognizing these covert patterns becomes the first step toward authentic selfhood and emotional freedom

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Narcissism vs Borderline: How to Tell the Difference in Relationships

Narcissism and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can look surprisingly similar at first glance, but the emotional logic behind them is very different. Both narcissistic and borderline organizations can involve intense reactions, splitting, idealization, and devaluation, leaving friends, partners, or family members confused and unsure how to respond. While narcissistic defenses often protect a fragile self

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How Does Therapy Help People with Narcissism Improve Their Relationships?

Overview: How narcissism shapes extreme defensiveness and self-criticism in daily life How therapy creates emotional safety and helps the inner critical voice lose power Ways curiosity and reflection in therapy allow for growth, autonomy, and healthier relationships Relating to someone whose narcissism triggers anger, denial, or self-attack at even gentle feedback can feel like touching

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How Does Narcissism Affect How You See Yourself?

Working with someone who experiences entrenched narcissistic defenses often reveals a unique paradox: defensiveness coexists with vulnerability, and self-criticism operates as both shield and companion. On the surface, reactions to feedback or challenges can appear extreme — anger, withdrawal, or self-attack — but beneath lies a fragile sense of self shaped by narcissistic defenses, internalized

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How Do the Holidays Trigger Narcissistic Defenses?

The holidays have a way of bringing out reactions that feel intense, confusing, or even a little out of proportion, especially for people with narcissistic traits. You might notice yourself withdrawing, people-pleasing, feeling irritable, or putting on a cheerful front, even if you’ve been feeling steady all year. It’s not just the extra events, long

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Breaking Free from Covert Narcissistic Parenting

Narcissistic patterns in family life often reveal themselves not through grand gestures, but through quiet moments of emotional reversal. A child turns to a parent with excitement, worry, or need—only to be met with dismissal, defensiveness, or guilt. In families shaped by covert narcissism, these moments become formative lessons about love and safety. The parent,

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How Covert Narcissistic Parents Use Guilt to Control Their Children

Overview Why a child’s growth can feel threatening to a covert narcissistic parent How guilt and emotional pressure keep children tied to their parents The self-protective logic that develops inside the child What healing and freedom actually look like To explore this topic in greater depth, listen to the full episode of The Narcissism Decoder

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How Do You Know When It’s Time to Leave a Narcissistic Relationship?

One of the most painful dilemmas in narcissistic relationships is knowing when to hold on — and when to let go. The difficulty isn’t just practical or moral; it’s deeply psychological. These relationships often awaken powerful early longings to be seen, to be understood, to finally repair what was broken in the past. This is

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Can a Narcissist Change: Four Signs of Real Growth

What You’ll Learn What “real change” actually looks like. Four signals that predict change: owning the problem, emotional depth, steady self-reflection, and genuine connection. Why leaving can feel like losing a part of yourself—and how to make sense of that. The “two worlds” model (fantasy vs. reality) and how integration creates growth. A step-by-step way

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