self-awareness Archives - Anthony Mazzella, Ph.D.

Why Do People With Narcissism Get So Defensive?

Overview: How narcissism shapes defensiveness and self-criticism by making small comments feel threatening and overwhelming How narcissistic family dynamics create lasting patterns of perfectionism, self-blame, and fear of disappointing others How people can unlearn narcissistic defenses through awareness, healthier internal dialogue, and supportive therapeutic relationships Introduction Many people exhibiting narcissistic traits experience sudden shame, defensiveness, […]

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Understanding the Differences Between Borderline and Narcissistic Personality

People searching for ways to handle borderline or narcissistic personality behaviors in relationships are often looking for relief from emotional intensity, confusion, or repeated relational conflict. While borderline and narcissistic patterns are frequently compared—or even conflated—in everyday language, understanding how these two organizations differ internally is essential for making sense of relationship dynamics that can

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Narcissism vs Borderline: How to Tell the Difference in Relationships

Narcissism and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can look surprisingly similar at first glance, but the emotional logic behind them is very different. Both narcissistic and borderline organizations can involve intense reactions, splitting, idealization, and devaluation, leaving friends, partners, or family members confused and unsure how to respond. While narcissistic defenses often protect a fragile self

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How Does Therapy Help People with Narcissism Improve Their Relationships?

Overview: How narcissism shapes extreme defensiveness and self-criticism in daily life How therapy creates emotional safety and helps the inner critical voice lose power Ways curiosity and reflection in therapy allow for growth, autonomy, and healthier relationships Relating to someone whose narcissism triggers anger, denial, or self-attack at even gentle feedback can feel like touching

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How Does Narcissism Affect How You See Yourself?

Working with someone who experiences entrenched narcissistic defenses often reveals a unique paradox: defensiveness coexists with vulnerability, and self-criticism operates as both shield and companion. On the surface, reactions to feedback or challenges can appear extreme — anger, withdrawal, or self-attack — but beneath lies a fragile sense of self shaped by narcissistic defenses, internalized

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How Do the Holidays Trigger Narcissistic Defenses?

The holidays have a way of bringing out reactions that feel intense, confusing, or even a little out of proportion, especially for people with narcissistic traits. You might notice yourself withdrawing, people-pleasing, feeling irritable, or putting on a cheerful front, even if you’ve been feeling steady all year. It’s not just the extra events, long

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Breaking Free from Covert Narcissistic Parenting

Narcissistic patterns in family life often reveal themselves not through grand gestures, but through quiet moments of emotional reversal. A child turns to a parent with excitement, worry, or need—only to be met with dismissal, defensiveness, or guilt. In families shaped by covert narcissism, these moments become formative lessons about love and safety. The parent,

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Can a Narcissist Change: Four Signs of Real Growth

What You’ll Learn What “real change” actually looks like. Four signals that predict change: owning the problem, emotional depth, steady self-reflection, and genuine connection. Why leaving can feel like losing a part of yourself—and how to make sense of that. The “two worlds” model (fantasy vs. reality) and how integration creates growth. A step-by-step way

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Is Your Partner Narcissistic? Red Flags That Point to Narcissism

What To Expect from this Article Before diving in, here’s a quick roadmap of what you’ll learn: How to recognize the main traits of someone on the NPD spectrum The difference between grandiose and vulnerable narcissism Why relationships with narcissists can be so painful The emotional cycles that keep partners feeling trapped Introduction Being in

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Healing From Narcissism: How Collapse Leads to Growth

What You’ll Learn in This Article What healing from narcissism truly looks like in daily life How the collapse of the grandiose self leads to real growth The importance of embracing vulnerability and authenticity Simple steps to rebuild genuine relationships and self-worth Practical strategies to cope with setbacks and stay on track during the healing

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